Tomorrow is a tough day for my family, for me. It is the 3rd anniversary of Matthew's death. Each day memories are a part of my life, but on certain days, like tomorrow, I know that the memories will pierce my mind and soul like slivers of glass shredding my flesh.
Tomorrow is also a day of joy and celebration for my family and for me. It is another anniversary - the 3rd anniversary of the church's affirmation of my call to pastoral ministry. It was on this date that we removed our son from life support and let him fully return to his Heavenly Father and on that same day God began a new life in me and each member of our family.
I praise God each day for the time we were given with our son. I will be in mourning for years to come, a part of me is missing and there is no amount of mourning that will replace that missing part. Yet, God hears my cries and is faithful in our distress.
Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!
1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.
4 Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.
5 Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.
6 Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,
but my ears you have pierced;
burnt offerings and sin offerings
you did not require.
7 Then I said, "Here I am, I have come—
it is written about me in the scroll.
8 I desire to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart."
9 I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips,
as you know, O LORD.
10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
I do not conceal your love and your truth
from the great assembly.
11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
may your love and your truth always protect me.
12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.
13 Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
O LORD, come quickly to help me.
14 May all who seek to take my life
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.
15 May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!"
be appalled at their own shame.
16 But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation always say,
"The LORD be exalted!"
17 Yet I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O my God, do not delay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJHao_5N9d8
Monday, June 15, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Power in Small
The Lord said to Samuel, ‘How long will you grieve over Saul? I have rejected him from being king over Israel. Fill your horn with oil and set out; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.’ Samuel said, ‘How can I go? If Saul hears of it, he will kill me.’ And the Lord said, ‘Take a heifer with you, and say, “I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.” Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do; and you shall anoint for me the one whom I name to you.’ Samuel did what the Lord commanded, and came to Bethlehem. The elders of the city came to meet him trembling, and said, ‘Do you come peaceably?’ He said, ‘Peaceably; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord; sanctify yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.’ And he sanctified Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice. When they came, he looked on Eliab and thought, ‘Surely the Lord’s anointed is now before the Lord.’
But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’
Then Jesse called Abinadab, and made him pass before Samuel. He said, ‘Neither has the Lord chosen this one.’ Then Jesse made Shammah pass by. And he said, ‘Neither has the Lord chosen this one.’ Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel, and Samuel said to Jesse, ‘The Lord has not chosen any of these.’ Samuel said to Jesse, ‘Are all your sons here?’ And he said, ‘There remains yet the youngest, but he is keeping the sheep.’ And Samuel said to Jesse, ‘Send and bring him; for we will not sit down until he comes here.’ He sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, and had beautiful eyes, and was handsome. The Lord said, ‘Rise and anoint him; for this is the one.’ Then Samuel took the horn of oil, and anointed him in the presence of his brothers; and the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon David from that day forward. Samuel then set out and went to Ramah. – 1 Samuel 16: 1- 13
I've been following the latest season of "Britain's Got Talent" and was just as surprised as the rest of the world when I heard Susan Boyles sing for the first time in her audition. As I talked with people though I saw a different attitude in our reasons for being surprised. Many people were shocked that someone with her physical appearance could sing like that, others commented on her age, others her perceived life circumstances. But what surprised me the most about her audition was the question in my mind - "Why hasn't anyone discovered this woman before now?!?!!?"
As the world watched her story unfold and we learned that she trained as a vocalist and had dedicated her life to caring for her mother, I couldn't help but see another side of this woman. Maybe that is what God wants us to understand in 1 Samuel 16, verse 7.
You see, David was an obedient son to his father. We don't know if he liked being a sheepherder, (personally, I'm guessing he didn't see it as his life's work!). David was also a diamond in the rough if you will. He may have been good-looking under his rough clothing, but he was a SHEEPHERDER!!! He worked hard, probably had rough hands, wasn't clean shaven, and smelled like sheep! But God knew the very inner thoughts of this boy/man and knew he could use him for a greater purpose than tending sheep. God had a standard that looked beyond all the outward signs and saw beneath the surface to David's heart. I hope I can do that with the people I meet in the world.
Maybe you would like to do that also, look into someone's heart, past their surface physical appearance and rough exterior and really see the person that God has created. Since I do not have the opportunity to travel among the millions of people in the world yet, I'm going to start small. I'm going to start with me. When I look into the mirror, I'm going to remember that graying hair and wrinkles, a few extra pounds around my waist do not make me the person God has created me to be. But my heart - well, that's another story.
But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’
Then Jesse called Abinadab, and made him pass before Samuel. He said, ‘Neither has the Lord chosen this one.’ Then Jesse made Shammah pass by. And he said, ‘Neither has the Lord chosen this one.’ Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel, and Samuel said to Jesse, ‘The Lord has not chosen any of these.’ Samuel said to Jesse, ‘Are all your sons here?’ And he said, ‘There remains yet the youngest, but he is keeping the sheep.’ And Samuel said to Jesse, ‘Send and bring him; for we will not sit down until he comes here.’ He sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, and had beautiful eyes, and was handsome. The Lord said, ‘Rise and anoint him; for this is the one.’ Then Samuel took the horn of oil, and anointed him in the presence of his brothers; and the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon David from that day forward. Samuel then set out and went to Ramah. – 1 Samuel 16: 1- 13
I've been following the latest season of "Britain's Got Talent" and was just as surprised as the rest of the world when I heard Susan Boyles sing for the first time in her audition. As I talked with people though I saw a different attitude in our reasons for being surprised. Many people were shocked that someone with her physical appearance could sing like that, others commented on her age, others her perceived life circumstances. But what surprised me the most about her audition was the question in my mind - "Why hasn't anyone discovered this woman before now?!?!!?"
As the world watched her story unfold and we learned that she trained as a vocalist and had dedicated her life to caring for her mother, I couldn't help but see another side of this woman. Maybe that is what God wants us to understand in 1 Samuel 16, verse 7.
You see, David was an obedient son to his father. We don't know if he liked being a sheepherder, (personally, I'm guessing he didn't see it as his life's work!). David was also a diamond in the rough if you will. He may have been good-looking under his rough clothing, but he was a SHEEPHERDER!!! He worked hard, probably had rough hands, wasn't clean shaven, and smelled like sheep! But God knew the very inner thoughts of this boy/man and knew he could use him for a greater purpose than tending sheep. God had a standard that looked beyond all the outward signs and saw beneath the surface to David's heart. I hope I can do that with the people I meet in the world.
Maybe you would like to do that also, look into someone's heart, past their surface physical appearance and rough exterior and really see the person that God has created. Since I do not have the opportunity to travel among the millions of people in the world yet, I'm going to start small. I'm going to start with me. When I look into the mirror, I'm going to remember that graying hair and wrinkles, a few extra pounds around my waist do not make me the person God has created me to be. But my heart - well, that's another story.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Justice, Mercy and Calling
Thus says God, the Lord,
who created the heavens and stretched them out,
who spread out the earth and what comes from it,
who gives breath to the people upon it
and spirit to those who walk in it:
I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness,
I have taken you by the hand and kept you;
I have given you as a covenant to the people,
a light to the nations,
to open the eyes that are blind,
to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon,
from the prison those who sit in darkness.
I am the Lord, that is my name;
my glory I give to no other,
nor my praise to idols.
See, the former things have come to pass,
and new things I now declare;
before they spring forth,
I tell you of them.
- Isaiah 42:5-9
I had lunch today with a woman who I hope to count among the people I will call “friend”. As we talked about her thoughts for the future and my reflections on the past I was awed again by the hand of God on my life.
Years ago I dreamed of being in the criminal justice profession – just not the way I am doing it! Today God is using me for ministry to the incarcerated, their families and the victims of crime. The work that I am doing now seems so inadequate yet I can see God's mighty works being done through my feeble attempts. Through these years God has truly held my hand and guided me through the trials and joys of life! How can I do anything less than offer him my simple attempts and my open heart?
who created the heavens and stretched them out,
who spread out the earth and what comes from it,
who gives breath to the people upon it
and spirit to those who walk in it:
I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness,
I have taken you by the hand and kept you;
I have given you as a covenant to the people,
a light to the nations,
to open the eyes that are blind,
to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon,
from the prison those who sit in darkness.
I am the Lord, that is my name;
my glory I give to no other,
nor my praise to idols.
See, the former things have come to pass,
and new things I now declare;
before they spring forth,
I tell you of them.
- Isaiah 42:5-9
I had lunch today with a woman who I hope to count among the people I will call “friend”. As we talked about her thoughts for the future and my reflections on the past I was awed again by the hand of God on my life.
Years ago I dreamed of being in the criminal justice profession – just not the way I am doing it! Today God is using me for ministry to the incarcerated, their families and the victims of crime. The work that I am doing now seems so inadequate yet I can see God's mighty works being done through my feeble attempts. Through these years God has truly held my hand and guided me through the trials and joys of life! How can I do anything less than offer him my simple attempts and my open heart?
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