A Blue Christmas

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” ~ Colossians 3:12-14

After taking a few days off from the ministry work of the Christmas season to simply enjoy the time with my family and this very special time of year, I find myself facing the post-holiday blahs like so many other people do. I am sure that some of these feelings are due to the fact that it’s cold outside and I have the remnants of a wonderful holiday strewn about my house – including the debris of wrapping paper yet to go to the trashman and a fridge full of leftovers! Some of the feelings I am experiencing can also be attributed to the normal “holiday blues” that we all feel after any holiday experience. Yet for some reason, this year feels different.

These past few months have been a definite growing season for me. My faith has been strengthened, tested, challenged and affirmed. I am moving into a deeper understanding of the role God has called me to live out through my service as a pastor. I am also learning to be more accepting of the role God has called me to fill and recognizing my limitations are exactly what He is using to minister in the place I am serving. I think I am also coming to terms with my deep grief over my brother’s murder and my son’s death. This is the part of my spiritual growth that I am most uncomfortable with.

As we let go of those old feelings of grief, despair, hurt, anger, unforgiveness and all the other negative emotions we carry around from our past, we limit our ability to fully live the life of God has in store for each of us. As I have spent more time in study of God’s Word, there has been a growing fullness in my soul and the grief has subsided. Now to be sure, I continue to mourn the absence in this life of Mark and Matthew and my soul aches in an indescribable manner. But, my grief is finding solace and comfort as I move into becoming more of who God wants me to be.

The problem isn’t with the notion of being one of God’s holy, chosen people, BUT in living like one of God’s holy, chosen people! This isn’t an easy issue to resolve -Mark’s death is still with me after more than 13 years – but I believe that I can see the flicker of a life lived fully as one His dearly loved children.

Faith ~ Fruit of the Spirit

I’ve spent a lot of time through the years praying for faithfulness. My faith has been tested, refined and strengthened, confirmed and uplifted in that time. And there are a few key points that I have learned along the way that help me identify faithfulness.

The first is: Faith is trusting God in all things and above all things. The big things as well as the little things that make our daily life what it is. You must first have faith that God created the universe and the world we live on, and then you must have faith that God wants to give you His greatest gifts – even when you are not sure what the gift is. I learned this best when I was first married. You see, my husband and I met on a blind date and knew each other for only six weeks before our wedding. It didn’t occur to me that I may have made a fast decision until we were living in L.A. a few weeks after our wedding – and the only person I knew was him! I was ready to go home to my family and familiar surroundings when I found a porcelain figurine in a Christian bookstore. It is a boy and girl with all of their belongings in a wagon and titled “We walk by faith.” For me it was a symbol that God had ordained our marriage.

The second point is: Faith is a choice. It is a gift we are given by God through the Holy Spirit. It is an exercise of the will to trust and believe in God’s promises. Each day we face choices that test our faith. Do we take that roll of tape home from the office? Should I tell the checkout girl she gave me too much change? Faithfulness is also tested through boring, routine, and humbling tasks. We must be prepared to be nobody, so that others can witness God’s purpose and glory. Sometimes the choice is harder. After the death of my brother, Mark, I came home from the funeral and dealing with the immediate needs of family and I fell into a deep abyss of depression and hate. My only way out was making the choice to trust God and believe in His promises. We are able to choose the eternal over the worldly because God gave us His Son Jesus, who died, was buried and is alive. He kept His promise. But it is our choice. And the choice to accept the gift is action done in obedience.

Third point: Faith is a verb. It is a way of living that can only be lived in action. Hebrews 11 is often referred to as the Biblical record of faith. By faith Abel offered his sacrifice to God. By faith Noah built an ark – he had never even seen rain! By faith the people of Israel walked through the Red Sea. Trusting in God. Believing His promises. Faith works. Faith loves. Faith forgives. Faith perseveres. These examples show some kind of movement in relationship with God. And when you have that relationship with God, faith that is alive becomes an action word. We are each able to grow in the direction God is calling us when we walk in faith and obedience. I have heard God’s call to preach His word to the people he brings me to. How in the world am I going to do this? I am not qualified, but I know that God qualifies those He calls and He has placed his faith in me. How can I fail!?!

Fourth point: Faith is lived out as a reflection of God’s character and grace abiding in us. In 2 Timothy 2:13 Paul writes “if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.” When life is beating us and we feel separated from God we are reminded of God’s faithfulness to us. God’s faithfulness is infinite, incomparable, unfailing, everlasting and great. God shows us His faithfulness by keeping His covenant with those who follow Him and surrender to His will. God’s faithfulness is shown to us in the forgiveness of our sins. Isn’t it easy to love others and to be faithful when everyone around you is godly and faithful – and nice? But you can reflect God’s character in you by living out your faith and loving the unlovable. (You know - that cranky, bitter, nasty person in your life – and we all got one of them.)

Faith is trusting God. Faith is a choice. Faith is a verb, is action in relationship. Faith is God abiding in us and through us. God has given us many examples and He included the written directions on how to be faithful. He has also given us the grace and the strength to remain faithful. And through these examples, the written directions, and the gift of the Holy Spirit, we are able to remain faithful and keep the promises we have made as servants of God.

Keep the faith!

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Indeed, by faith* our ancestors received approval. By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was made from things that are not visible." ~ Hebrews 11:1-3

No More Ms. Nice

I’ve often wondered if Peter was really asking, “If someone sins against me, seriously, how many times must I forgive? Maybe Peter was thinking –“Okay, other rabbis have taught that three times is enough to forgive, but Jesus, well, he’s always pushing us to do more, to be more, maybe seven times will please him.” Maybe Peter thought this would be showing extreme forgiveness. I mean, after all, how many times could you forgive a person, the same person, for a sin against you, perhaps the same sin? And how great a sin must we forgive? I think that Peter wanted to put a legal limit on forgiveness. He wanted a number where he could finally say, "That’s it! I’ve had it! I’ve done everything I was supposed to do - No more Mr. Nice Guy for me!"

Haven’t we all felt that way at some point? We all carry old baggage where we keep our hurts hidden away. We all have grudges that we lug around, sacks full of hurt and piles of pain that we just can't let go of. We all have that burden which prevents us from fulfilling our God given destiny.

For many years I carried the burden of an unforgiving spirit after the murder of my brother. Those years were filled with pain, hate, rage and fear. God took all of that hurt and pain and gave it meaning. He helped me overcome my unforgiving spirit through prayer and His faithfulness until ten years later when I was able to forgive one of the young men imprisoned for my brother’s murder. God gave meaning to my ordeal by allowing me to bring His message of love to others who are crime victims and those who have been incarcerated for their acts of violence. Now, each day I try to remember the forgiveness I have been given as I think of forgiving others.

“Then Peter came and said to him, ‘Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.” ~ Matthew 18:21-22 (NRSV)

Justice, Mercy and Ministry

Found this while surfing the web tonight, I had actually almost forgotten about it!

General Board of Discipleship Publishes Prison Ministry Tool Box

GBOD’s Discipleship Resources imprint has published a new prison ministry tool box to help congregations address the alarming increase in the U. S. prison population.

The “Congregational Tool Box for Prison Ministry” was created in response to a 2004 General Conference action related to providing restorative justice materials for United Methodist churches.

“The tool box encourages people to look at the whole criminal justice system, while providing practical, hands-on suggestions for ministry in the reality of our current prison system,” says Betsey Heavner, the publication’s author and compiler.

The “Congregational Tool Box for Prison Ministry” ($8.00) is available for download at http://www.upperroom.org/bookstore/description.asp?item_id=456465.

“By engaging in and expanding our work in prison ministry, we are reclaiming that part of our Methodist heritage inspired by John Wesley’s passion for those in prison,” says GBOD top executive Karen Greenwaldt.

Churches that are serious about beginning restorative justice ministries or in re-tooling prison ministries will find helpful ways to care for those incarcerated and their families,
provide for children, visit in prisons and bring justice and reconciliation in their communities.

The publication, which updates the “Prison Ministry Guide” published in 1996, targets Christian communities and individuals who recognize God’s call to be involved in ministries of justice and mercy.

“The ‘1996 Prison Ministry Guide’ was out of date. Yet we were getting requests for the guide on a weekly basis,” says Heavner.

The “Congregational Toolbox for Prison Ministry” overviews criminal justice issues and presents some possible ways for churches to engage in prison ministry.

Justice Department statistics indicate that one in every 136 U. S. residents was behind bars in the summer of 2005.

Though more prisons are being built, they cannot keep up with the dramatic increase in the number of persons being incarcerated.

“Congregational Tool Box for Prison Ministry” content was compiled by Betsey Heavner and edited by George Donigian. Content reviewers and contributors included prison chaplains and restorative justice practitioners Pat Dunbar, Harmon Wray, Tom Porter, Cynthia Peters, Rich Stoglin, Mark Hicks, Ann Edgefield and Holly Hickson.

The 26-page resource includes the following chapters:

.Introduction to the Problem of a Growing Prison Population
.Raising Congregational Awareness for Ministering with Those in Prison
.Getting Started with Prison Ministry
.Seven Ways to Engage in Criminal Justice Work and Prison Ministry.

The General Board of Discipleship’s mission is to support annual conference and local church leaders for their task of equipping world-changing disciples. An agency of The United Methodist Church, The General Board of Discipleship (www.gbod.org) is located at 1908 Grand Ave. in Nashville, TN. For more information, call the Media Relations Office toll free at (877) 899-2780, Ext. 7017.

It seems strange to see an article such as this with my name mentioned and credit given to me for something that was just a part of what I do in life. I remember the effort but didn't think anything of it because it seemed to be such a small thing. This effort was done on my part during the time of Matthew's illness and then his death and just over ten years after Mark's death. I was in the midst of grief and wasn't even aware of what the results would be, but I remember thinking that maybe if I opened myself up just a little, God would be glorified in some small way. That God use the circumstances for His glory was the prayer on my heart in the moment I first heard the news of Mark's murder.

Isn't that the prayer that should always be on our hearts? That God be glorified in all that we say and do? And then sometimes, in spite of our own human frailty something bigger than we could have thought possible happens. Bad things happen to each of us in life. Cars break down, jobs are lost, loved ones die, and the everyday worries remain on our minds. But when we just do what it is we are designed to do without thought of ourselves, bigger things happen. Maybe that's what God means for us to do when we are told to "pray continually" and "give thanks in all circumstances".

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18