The Difference Between Men and Women

Let’s say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?”

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: …so that means it was…let’s see…February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means…lemme check the odometer…Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed – even before I sensed it – that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this
time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty…scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their…

“Fred,” Martha says aloud.

“What?” says Fred, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have…oh dear, I feel so…”(She breaks down, sobbing.)


Find the 5 differences!

“What?” says Fred.

Cont'd @barefootpreachr.org

2011 Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children Lobby Day

It’s time to register for the 2011 Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children Lobby Day at the Georgia Capitol with Street GRACE, A Future Not A Past, and Wellspring Living on February 1 from 8 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Get ready to make a real difference in the lives of exploited children in our state. Thank your legislator with written notes, make your voice heard, and join together in an awareness-raising show of support for children victimized by CSEC. Registration is free and easy; simply go to streetgrace.org.

Simple Enough?

Candler School of Theology cordially invites you to attend two lectures about living a life of simplicity. The lectures are free but tickets are required.

Explore the relationship between spiritual and financial well-being by attending “Simple Enough?,” a lecture series sponsored by Emory University’s Candler School of Theology and featuring renowned United Methodist Church pastors and authors The Rev. Adam Hamilton and The Rev. Dr. Paul Escamilla.
Both speakers will address how to live a life of “less” despite being immersed in a culture that entices us with “more.” The lectures take place on February 1 and March 29.

February 1: Adam Hamilton speaks at Glenn Memorial United Methodist Church at 7 p.m. Reverend Hamilton is the founding pastor of the 17,000-member United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas, and the author of nine books. He will discuss his book Enough: Discovering Joy through Simplicity and Generosity a popular resource for adult religious education in hundreds of UMC churches. Get Tickets.

Paul Escamilla lectures March 29, 7 p.m., Cannon Chapel. He is pastor of St. John’s United Methodist Church in Austin, Texas, and author of Longing for Enough in a Culture of More (Abingdon Press, 2007), a collection of 25 brief meditations that are used for private and group study. Organized in five topics: The Good Book, The Good Life, the Good Work, The Good Society, and The Good Earth, the essays make the “life of enough” seem a natural next step in the lives of Christians. The book will be the focus of Escamilla’s lecture. Get Tickets.

For more information, go to candler.emory.edu.